A Hacker’s Outgrowing

I’m finally free; thank God it’s over – not the words you’d expect from a person who always wanted to be a writer for a profession. But if you were in the shoes of the one saying that, you’d say that no truer words have been spoken. Because ever since things changed for the corporate good, which meant worse for creative people like me, for us “millennials”, I knew I had to leave. Except I didn’t, as I was cash-strapped, so I stayed for three more months. At first I thought I was overstaying my welcome, only to slowly realize that I exited at the perfect time as my last day got nearer. And now that I am officially an ex-employee of my previous company, after going through many unforgettable highs and lows, I can now confidently say that it was one of my best runs so far.

The end began in the middle, around late August. It was a time of great upheaval, of talks about the turning of the company into a corporate one, of barely legal and grossly anti-employee contracts, and the enforcement of pointless laws. All of these changes were detrimental to our productivity and pride as young professionals, so a sudden mass exodus began. Many of the co-workers who I have become friends with over the span of a year were leaving one by one at a rate that made the management bothered and us happy for each other’s hastened arrival to greener pastures. It was officially the end of the company’s “golden age”, as freedom and happiness with work was replaced with shackles and grumbling.

Back in the old days, we used to believe in freedom – granted that we are held accountable for how it’s used – and the lack of need for supervision. Apparently, when I left, we still do, as it’s still part of the company vision/mission, whatever the hell that is, but that’s just what’s written on the walls and not what was still happening. Flexible schedule became a thing of the past. Work from home required top-level permission before it can be granted. Our output, instead of speaking for themselves, were regularly checked. We have begun using Slack, a chat site/program that allows the team lead to read every conversion, including those between the employees. And last but not least, on a more personal level, I cannot sit beside the girl I like, as it is detrimental to work even though it isn’t, and posting on Facebook anything that can be interpreted as against the company or any of its higher-ups, regardless of whether it’s actually them or otherwise, is a big deal and therefore punishable by public shaming in the guise of transparency and the upholding of respect, honor, and the company name.

Basically, everything that made the company feel so welcoming to millennials like us, made me want to work there, and made it unique was gone. And because even mere traces of such things can no longer be found in it, I had to leave, even if my-now girlfriend (more on that later on) is still there. It saddens me that what was once special has become part of the statistics, one of the thousands of startups that promised to bring something new to the table, only to end up as one of the businesses they promised they are not and will never become.

In the pursuit of my passion, writing, I joined that company, which looked and felt different, and promised me a way of doing work that is more laissez-faire and provides room to be myself and grow. That seemed true during the first half of my stay, then it no longer was by the second one. I still had hope that it would be true once again, but the bullet to the head of that wishful thinking is what our boss said, which is something along the lines of “passion will lead you nowhere. And you’re not special; you’re just a statistic”. ASSHOLE! IT LED ME TO HIS COMPANY, WHICH LED ME TO A JOB THAT GETS ME PAID FOR BEING A WORDSMITH, TO FRIENDS I WILL NEVER FORGET, AND THAT ONE GIRL I LOVE! AND TELL ME THAT EVERYONE I MET ALONG THE WAY IS JUST ANOTHER STATISTIC!

He traded something he once believed in and made us believe in for something as cheap as the socially accepted definition of success. Nevertheless, he was right – was, not is, because he is now wrong; following our hearts and our passions will lead to our own respective definitions of success, and mine happens to be fulfilling my dream as a writer, having true friends, and finding love. ALL OF THOSE THINGS DID HAPPEN, AND IRONICALLY BECAUSE OF HIM! So Sir, thank you from the bottom of my heart, for everything. I guess I shouldn’t be mad at you despite all that crap I had to go through because of your ridiculous mindset, because in the grander scheme of things, I owe you so much.

Looking back, I realized that I have become successful in the most serendipitous way possible. That success, however, is far from complete. I still have to find a better job as a writer, I still have to spend more time with the friends I’ve made to know them better, and I still have to keep loving her. And in order for me to do those things better, I have to grow into the person I am meant to be, and that means leaving the company. So to all my friends in both the golden age and the new age, this is not a goodbye, as I am always online, and I am always with you in spirit that small office home. This is merely a physical separation, a growing out of the pot we once shared. Don’t worry, we’re still in the same garden, so we’ll still see each other.

So, save for Berna, see you when I see you. I want you all to know that even in my new workplace, which I don’t know yet, and even in your new jobs, which is already true for the old ones and will be true in the near future for the new ones, we’ll always be…

Hackers. 🙂