Sayang Lia, We Only Had One Date Part 3: Ascension and Reincarnation (Also A Jupiter Ascending Review)

Posted on March 4, 2015 Updated on March 4, 2015

“Sunk out at sea, crashed my car, gone insane, and it felt so good I wanna do it again…”

-Bachelor Girl, Buses and Trains

Lia is one in seven billion, the only one of her kind. No one else in the world gives off an intimidating aura that enthuses me instead of overburdening and piques my interest because of her interestingly cute mannerisms – saying yum whenever she pops a string of French Fries on her mouth, that childish look on her face when she rests her chin on her palms, and the way she softly steps – that meld together with her air of sophistication. Wanna know other girls who are one in seven billion, the only one of her kind? Most of the girls I really liked. And Lia, just like them, are forever lost in my life. Maybe in the next life, five-digit years into the future, I’ll get Lia, when she has a new name and a new calling, when we have both forgotten our rather fun Tinder date – on my end at least. Kind of like the plot in Jupiter Ascending.

Sci-fi isn’t really Lia’s cup of tea, so I don’t know why she agreed to the Wachowski’s visual visionary spectacle. In fact, I even expected her to say no, except she didn’t, so I took her yes for a yes. And while there were times during the movie when I wished that I chose Project Almanac instead even tho it’s the generic millennial teenybopper YOLO idiocy, I believe I made the right choice. After all, many of its elements – the clear, crisp, and detailed visuals; the art direction that was a fusing of the Renaissance-esque, Final Fantasy-ish and space age; the high-octane but comprehensible action scenes; the sincerity of the plot despite its unnecessary cheese and its reliance on damsel-in-distress tropes; and the themes of reincarnation and human harvesting – appealed to me. And when Lia seemed to have received some sort of “inspiration” for their thesis, which is a futuristic-themed fashion show, I knew that I chose right. I mean, look at that space haute couture; it’s so avant garde.

 Mila Kunis’s dress by Michael Cinco. A beautiful gown that was used for an intergalactic political marriage was designed by a Filipino. Thanos damn it, our race is so awesome that our achievements reach space. Pinoy Pride right there.

How Eddie Redmayne says he’s a dashing debonair evil overlord: 1.) Sitting 2.) Screaming 

Aside from the fashion, she also liked Channing. As expected. Too bad, because I know she would’ve been happier if the 21 Jump Street guy had his Magic Mike abs for the movie. If she dated a younger me, I would’ve been insecure with Tatum’s body, especially if my date was swooning over his six pack (which was absent in the movie). But now that I understand gender equality, I believe it’s only right for women to enjoy fanservice.

A few questions though: why do girls still find him attractive despite the unnatural golden eyebrows and beard and that elven ears? And his role in the movie had more things in common than a dog than a human, right?

After all, I did too with Tuppence Middleton’s ass, so much so that I wasn’t able to contain my glee and had a “hot damn, dat ass” moment in front of Lia. That’s okay though, she had a toned-down but nevertheless same reaction anyway.

Man, I wish Tuppence was the one to have broken the internet and not Kim K. See the entirety of Jupiter Asscending to see Kalique Abrassax’s ass yourself.

Okay, now check out her front. By the way, do you know what tuppence means?

Despite critics’ bashing, we thought the movie was good. According to Lia, it was typical but fun. Aside from the praises I’ve previously stated, Mila and Channing were entertaining to watch both individually and as a couple, as they had chemistry as a couple. And the ending? Perfect! Why? Let me end this pseudo-review first with a 7-7.5/10 (very flawed storytelling and pace, but highly entertaining, aesthetically appealing visuals-wise, and had a lot of heart and a brilliant theme and premise) and get on with an analysis.

SPOILERS: If you haven’t watched the movie yet, don’t read further.

If there’s something critics repeatedly hate on, it’s the ending, which they think made the entire movie pointless. Well, to be fair, to go back to cleaning toilets after seeing the cosmically big picture is a waste of life. However, it may seem like that, but Jupiter did not go back to that shitty life, literally. If she did, she’ll no longer be with Caine. But they’re very much together, and they’re talking about what she’ll do next to stop the gene trade. Jupiter is doing is taking her time, spending her last days as a normal human, and sorting things out before going back to the vastness of space and correct whatever needs to be corrected.

And while Jupiter knows what’s beyond the stars and will be returning there shortly, I, on the other hand, was only given a short but beautiful glimpse.We went past the Tinder nebula where we first “met”, spun around the WeChat star with our convos and photos, and met on the edge of space that is Town. We had ice cream, window-shopping, taking of a selfie, and a movie on the last few hours before the first and last embrace – our bodies’ only collision for our entire date and probably even lifetime, and then, after two days of conversation, all of the residues of whatever we had, whatever it’s called, has burned out. So, is it over? Well, with what I learned from Jupiter Ascending, it’s a no.

According to the movie’s mythos, gene patterns repeat. When they do, it’s considered as a reincarnation. I thought about it, and it kind of makes sense. Genes, after all, are just codes, and codes, no matter how many permutations they have, are finite, making repetition inevitable. It takes a long time, but it definitely will happen; I just hope that the next repetition of both our gene codes happen in the same timeline and place as each other. I’ll be Caine and she’ll be Jupiter. We’ll swipe right again using some futuristic cellphone app and talk for three weeks, then I’ll ditch my friends for a date with her even if everything between us in the next life ends the same way in this one.

Oh Lia, see you again really soon.