The Temple of Eros
Believe In My Love (A Short Write-Up)
You don’t have to accept my love. You don’t even have to thank me for it; you can even rue me for it if it inconvenienced you in any way whatsoever. But I beseech you, at the very least, to believe I in it.
Believe that this love sees your faults but chooses not to mind andacknowledges your succumbing to your humanity, to your most primal of drives. And of course, believe that it sees all the beauty that you possess. Believe that this love, despite having tinges of self-interest, which is the desire to have you, can choose to further strip itself down to its most basic tenet – my offering of self to you, regardless of your willingness – or lack thereof – to do the same, and nothing else. And lastly, believe that it empowers me enough to do anything humanly possible as long as it is within the bounds of sanity and morality, and that includes relinquishing itself.
Believe in that love, the heart that bears its weight, and the boy who is kept alive by that heavy broken heart.
Hana Love You
I’m not a big fan of tsunderes. I don’t like how they feel something yet say and act the complete opposite of it. Of course, there are a few likeable ones, such as Misaka Mikoto from the To Aru universe, Tenma Sakurako from Love Collage, Sylvia from Wagatsuma-san is my wife, and Hana from Prison School. Yes, that crazy martial artist prude ex-warden. I like her now, she’s cute, and she’s the “say-the-opposite-but-does-what-she-feels” tsundere, so she’s got my like. In fact, I’m kind of confused now which between her and Chiyo will I root for.
Chiyo’s got that cute-sweet-shy-nice vibe that I always want in a woman.
But gods damn it, Hana, her fury is just so cute and sexy at the same that time my heart flutters while my penis gets hard whenever I read the chapter even though she’s fully clothed. I don’t know, her allure is on another level, so much so that it transcends the usual tropes of the genre. Damn it, Prison School has never been this kawaii; it’s giving me a soft, warm feeling inside my chest.
And now, the spam. Have some Hana love ❤
Only Hana can make an act as vainglorious as selfies a mathematically precise endeavor. Such passion.
Such depth and beauty…
I better try this out soon…
I’m no DoTA 2 pro, but I’d love to carry Hana.
Lucky Kiyoshi.
And my favorite. The art for this panel is so different and cute, and Hana is just so focused and attentive. It’s kind of Disney-ish, actually.
Come on Chiyo, don’t let Hana get the lead.
Ne(w/o)bie: Virgin x Virgin
“I wish I was a virgin, a virgin like you. I wish I had a burden, wish that I had a dream. I wish I was as simple as you seem…”
-A Virgin Like You, The Ark
Last week, over a few beers, Fernan told me that he is 100% sure that Neobie (now I know how her name is spelled) has a boyfriend. Yesterday, over some Japanese food, John confirmed Fernan’s predictions.
We were supposed to have some brainstorming at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf because Sir Mark was going to be absent, but the whole session became a free cut because less than half of the class came on time. John asked us who wants to join him for some lunch, but none of my classmates wanted to follow. Between staying in the library with Steffi, who’s kind of cute, and the rest of my classmates, and John, who’s a pretty cool dude who’s got a lot of stories to tell, I chose the latter. In hindsight, it seemed not like me because I always choose women before brethren unless it’s Fernan, Paolo, Ivan, and Nhel, but looking back, I have made the right choice, for it was the choice I was destined to take – the choice that led me to Neobie.
Just like Fernan, John has predictive powers, so in hindsight, I shouldn’t have been too surprised if he knew that I fancied Neobie. However, in the excitement of the exact moment when he was calling up her up, telling her to follow us to this small Japanese restaurant inside a small condo building, I have forgotten about his psychic capabilities. Before Neobie arrived, John told me that I shouldn’t pull off anything stupid because she’s already got a boyfriend. “Paano mo nalaman!? (How did you know!?)” I asked him in shock, so he gave me the whole “wavelengthing” explanation again. Once again, Fernan was right. This time, on two things – the first one is on the first line, and the second one is on just focusing on Nicolette. Oh I will, but you know me – I don’t live in the future, but in the present. And in that present that is the present, there she was, a gift of the gods…
Chinita, fair-skinned, slim, carnation lips, (copy-pasted until this point) jet-black straight hair that reached to her shoulder, light gray sweater, dark gray above-the-knee skirt, black high-cut sneakers – Neobie, in all her glory. First things first: her name. N-E-O-B-I-E. Kind of like newbie, but has O instead of a W. She’s Neobie, and I’m a newbie. How…apt. The two of them talked about their lives, and I only butted either when the topic was impersonal or I was talked to. In my times of silence, I looked at her, playing with the wooden and obtuse triangular prism-shaped food service number (or whatever the hell it’s called) as though it was a toy car. She played with it like a child without seeming like one, completely retaining her graceful and hime-like aura. When her order came, she used the spoon and fork rather than the chopsticks, yet she was still a hime.
After the meal, we made our way back to the library. Wherever we went, men’s eyes were on us, for royalty was passing by. When the wind blew, she held down her skirt as she walked like the most beautiful duck there is, more beautiful than that bastard of a swan. When she can’t get out of the library, she was like a cute and innocent girl trapped in glass. Everything she does is magic, her ways goddess-like. As we talked inside Neobie’s classroom before her professor arrived, I understood why.
If there’s something Fernan and I were wrong about, it’s Niobe’s knowledge of the “dark arts”, as she has not even the slightest inkling of it, for she has no desire for it. In a world of heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, transsexuals, pansexuals, and other -sexuals waiting to come out of the closet, she is asexual. She may have a boyfriend, so that makes her heteromantic (just google the term), but she feels no drive. If sexuality are colors, she is colorless. She is pure. Pristine. Immaculate. Divine. Holy. Transcendent. She is a rare white flower whose petals are easily bruised by the wind and crushed by the fingers. She is the goddess of chastity. Truly, just like how I described her last time, she is a manga character.
Ironically, her closest name variation, Niobe, in Greek Mythology, was a woman who had fourteen children. Neobie, on the other hand, is a deity who is unadultered by this world. Oh Neobie, in another world, in another life, let’s live our virgin lives together forever until the end of time.
Oh my idol, proof that there is more to human behavior than the pursuit of pleasure, purge this realm of depravity.
Dream Blog: Knapp-time
“Tell me what you know about dreams”
-Kid Cudi, Pursuit of Happiness, from the Project X Original Soundtrack
My friend Fernan has many admirable traits and impressive talents up in his sleeve. Among them, the most impressive one is his ability to see how things truly are and how they will turn out in the future. Don’t believe me? Well, he has only correctly predicted how things turned out with Ampie, Ina, Lin, and Sean. He has also made predictions about different people, but it’s not exactly related to our lives so I didn’t put much stock in them. Bottomline, Fernan is good at predictions, so much so that I wouldn’t be surprised that it’s actually on a superhuman level. And because his unconfirmed power saved my ass from total destruction so many times before, it’s only right that I return the favor the exact same way. I may not be clairvoyant, but I do get vivid dreams; and my dream last night, a good one, was all about my friend…and a girl he’s been bragging about. Dreams don’t always come true, but some do, and this one hopefully would…
I was back in college, and Fernan and I are in the same class again. Just like before and now, we always talk, mostly about women. However, in the dream, he didn’t talk about women; he only talked about one woman only. The same woman everyday. He’d always tell me how beautiful, hot, good, and sweet she is. This wonderful woman is known only by her first name: Alexis.
I have never heard Fernan talk about a woman with such intensity and fervor before, so I thought that this Alexis chick is really all banged up Fernan is making her out to be. Unfortunately, I never really saw Alexis in the dream per se, although I did imagine what she looked like. Yes, I imagined something while I was in a dream – must be some kind of bizarre and impractical superpower. Anyway, I pictured Alexis as a tall, slim, and fair chinita with really long hair – the type we go for. Well, whatever she looked like, to say that I was happy for Fernan was an understatement.
After waking up, I was still wondering who Alexis could be, so I tried recalling if I know any Alexis-es. It turns out I know two, but one of them is a dude, and I know Fernan does not and never will swing that way, so he’s automatically out. And for the last Alexis I know…well, I know an Alexandra Nichole Guzman, a pretty mestiza back in fourth year high school, but Fernan clearly stated “Alexis” in the dream. Alexis, Alexis, Alexis…who can you be? Then, as I took a piss, I had an epiphany. Apparently, she isn’t how I visualized her, for the real Alexis is infinitely better. And great goddess of sex, she is no other than…
ALEXIS KNAPP. THE UBER-STEAMING HOT CHICK FROM PROJECT X. THE MUSE AND THE VERY REASON FOR THE PARTY OF THE MILLENNIUM. I heard she also did Pitch Perfect, but I haven’t watched that movie, and I don’t have to watch it to daresay without a shadow of doubt that her role in Project X was way better in X ways to Sunday, where X is the hotness of Alexis Knapp in a scale of 1-100, which is definitely not less than 95 according to any normal heterosexual male.
So Fernan, you better get your act straight and cross your fingers. Who knows, maybe you’d actually get Alexis Knapp? Then again, maybe it’s another Alexis, an Aya Toujo-ish Alexis. Well, I know either one works for you.
As celebration and advanced proclamation (hopefully, I don’t jinx it), more gratuitous photos of Alexis Knapp.
DAMN IT FERNAN, STOP READING THIS NOW-USELESS POST! FIND. ALEXIS. THIS. INSTANT.
Oh wait, before you do, click HERE for the almost sex scene with Alexis Knapp so that you wouldn’t have to manually find it on Youtube.
P.S.: Don’t forget to tell me how it turned out once you tapped her.
Final Fantasy XIV on II/XIV/MMXIV: A Valentione’s Day Special
“We can journey to a garden no one knows…”
-Rivermaya, 214
Ah, Valentine’s Day. Once again, love is in the air…Eorzean air. Wait, I think I got that wrong, as it’s not Valentine’s, but Valentione’s Day. It is when Eorzeans recollect the life of Countess Arabelle de Valentione, who refused the lap of luxury and endured countless hardships to find the L-word. And this year, her direct descendant Lady Lisette de Valentione has come to Limsa Lominsa to bring together hearts in love across the land through the help of adventurers, including our heroine Aya Toujo. Being a staunch advocate, ally, believer, and writer of love herself, she was more than up for the ask. And aside from the chance of being inspired by witnessing romance, Aya also wanted the red maid outfit that was given as a reward for helping out Lady Lisette. Well, whatever her reasons may have been, she rode off into the sunset for the glory of love, like a knight in shining armor from a long time ago…
She went on three quests, but the most heart-wrenching one among them is called Right Here Waiting. ‘Twas about a girl named Nemoh Maimhov, who lost her lover Gwayne in the Battle of Carteneau. One day, she caught a glimpse of a man who she thought was him, but she dared not ask if he is her Gwayne, as she would not be able to bear the disappointment if he is not. Thus, she asked Aya to do so on her behalf.
Upon her investigation, she found out that Gwayne indeed does live, but has *drum roll please* amnesia. How soap opera cliche.
And that is when Gylbart, Nemoh’s childhood friend who has long been smitten with her, came into the picture. He told her that Gwayne is no longer the man she loved and maybe it’s time that she moved on and gave him a chance, but then…
Poor Gylbart. Somehow I can relate to his story *cough*DAMN EXES!*cough*. Or not, because the man he is up against for Nemoh’s heart is and was never who Nemoh thought he is and was, as he’s actually a swindling bastard, it’s just that Gylbart didn’t tell Nemoh because it’d be too much for her to bear. Poor Nemoh. And poor Gylbart too, because Nemoh will forever love a swindling bastard and not him who has been loving her for so long with all his heart.
Even in Eorzea, a place where the greatest of magics can be found, the strongest powers that be can be conquered by heroes, and the most obscure nobodies can find fame and glory, love remains an ever-mysterious force. Thus, I wrote this totally unrelated rant next:
Oh Love, how I despise you, for you make us smile by making us find you…and then break us by staying out of our reach. You make us fall so damn hard for those who do not and will not fall for us no matter what we say or do or how hard we try every single time. Why? Is it because our love, the love you have stirred in our hearts, is so damn worthless that it has no power over its recipient, our object of affection? Is it because we ourselves are worthless to begin with? Is it because you happen to despise us and love the rest? If such is the case, then why? Is the reason a secret? Or maybe there is no reason, is there? Maybe it’s just a great game of chance to you…a great and greatly painful and sadistic game of chance that always breaks our hearts in two.
Thus, I have grown to despise you and learned to love despising you, yet deep down I love to love you and despise to despise you, for I hope that you would love me back and give me your much-coveted bliss if I love you…or maybe you will still not, you eccentric wench. I guess only you can tell, and I despise you for that, yet I will love you nonetheless.
Alright, enough of that mushy love hurts crap, let’s go back to Aya. You see, because she believed in love and helped other hearts in love, she too found a short stint of romance. It’s from a pink-haired bard who gave her a piece of chocolate.
She’s very much delighted about it, but she’s still wondering if he’s gay, considering he’s a pink haired Miqo’te bard – a pretty gay combination if you ask anyone in Eorzea. Hopefully not. And if he is, then may Memphina bless his Valentione’s Day. “Happy Valentione’s Day, Mister Bard, even though I forgot your name. I hope I meet you again…” said Aya in the heart of her heart. And then she remembered the idiot of a playwright who did not love her back…
So to everyone, whether you’re in Eorzea, Tamriel, Lagendia, Aincrad, Alfheim, Midgard, Middle Earth, or just plain Earth, whether you’re single for now or ever since birth, in an open, regular, or complicated relationship, married, widowed, or divorced, Happy Valentine’s Day. May those who love be loved back.
As for those who love despises and therefore will not and will never be loved back because of its rather unpredictable nature, may they still love wholeheartedly so that they can prove that their love cannot be broken, not even by love itself…
If Love Is A Crime, Then I’d Probably Read A Manga From A Genre I Don’t Usually Read
What in God’s name did I just read?
I’m not the type who reads tragedy or heavy drama because it greatly affects me in a negative way. I mean, enough bad things happen in real life, I pretty much don’t need more of it in my personal doses of fiction. However, because of my sense of depravity, optimism, and romance, I did not only read Prison School, I enjoyed every minute of it and finished all 63 available chapters of it, even reading it in the workplace despite the rather questionable content.
If you’re not one who can tolerate stories that involve protagonists being subjected to seemingly endless torment and suffering, then I wouldn’t recommend Prison School to you. And don’t trust the synopsis in manga sites, as it is actually about five boys in a newly co-ed school who got caught peeking and were subjected to being held in “prison” by the underground student council, headed by a misandrist president. If that’s not bad enough, let’s add in a vice-president who doubles like a warden in a school uniform warped to look like a dominatrix’s garb who tortures them every day as well as a mentally unstable prude who’s a mentally screwed-up martial arts master who makes every possible way to see the main protagonist’s member. Still not cracking eh? Let’s throw in a final twist of fate – your love interest who’s angelic in terms of beauty and kindness is the president’s precious little sister. Planning to no longer read it? NOT ME. Especially when the protagonist’s love interest is angelic in terms of beauty and kindness.
It’s a total enigma what made it such a page-turner. Could it be the top-notch art and the beautiful girls? Or is it the awfully depraved fanservice and humor deeply rooted in female domination, masochism, sadism, and human misfortune in general? I don’t know about you guys, because even though being dominated by a whip-wielding girl in leather is definitely a good thing, the latter is definitely not my reason, especially when it already crossed the line between role play and doing it for real. In fact, I’m finding the tragedies the boys encounter exponentially harder to take than Shingeki no Kyojin, which has a premise that consists of the last packet of humanity fighting endless hordes of colossal beings. Wanna know the drive that makes me turn the pages? It is the hope for the boys to be free and the main protagonist, Kiyoshi, to end up with his sweet girl Chiyo, as well as for Shinjo to end up with Anzu. Can’t help but remember college…
Back then, I dealt with girls who are almost the same as the underground student council minus the almost nudity and the physical chastising. They made me do their errands, spend my dough for their sake, and turned me into a clown, only to end up with our so-called “friendship” forgotten a few months after graduation. At least the underground student council is hot and honest with themselves, unlike my former classmates and lady “friends”. And back then, I didn’t have anyone who’s just like Chiyo or Anzu. Nobody was. Nobody still is.
Romance-wise, I would’ve chosen Prison School over the college education, the work I’ve had, as well as the current life I’m having, because as long as I’d have a girl like Chiyo or Anzu who is waiting for me – beautiful inside out, understanding, and is an actually normal girl unlike the members of the underground student council who evoke every single feminazi trope there is, all the torture they would throw at me would be nothing but a mere pinprick.
Seriously James, all that punishment you don’t deserve for just one girl? You have no idea. Some men would go to jail for a girl like Chiyo or Anzu. But I’m not just like some men. For her, I’d stay in jail. And when I’m out, I’ll be serving time again, because love is a crime, and I’ll be her prisoner. She’ll lock me up deep inside her heart and give me the keys, because she knows that I’ll never escape.
I still can’t believe I’m reading something I don’t usually do so because of a love story. The author better give Chiyo and Kiyoshi as well as Shinjo and Anzu a good ending or else I swear I’ll make prison sound like heaven to the ears of that sexist masochist.
A Very Ugly Flower
After what seems like aeons, my schedule finally got freed up, and what do I write about first? This anime called Aku no Hana, which means Flowers of Evil in Japanese. It’s not the incest shoujo manhwa, nor is this about some kind of Magical Girl subgenre anime, it’s actually just a simple School Life/Slice of Life anime about a perverted teenager named Kasuga Takao who steals the gym clothes of his classmate, crush, muse, femme fatale, and Venus Nanako Saeki, and got caught by borderline psychopath classmate Nakamura Sawa, who blackmails him into becoming some kind of a slave for her in exchange for not to telling anyone. Sick and twisted, right? Well, it gets worse.
Craving for more of the beautifully rotoscoped, vilely humorous and entertaining, and deeply philosophical social commentary-ish anime that only has two episodes as of the moment, I turned to the manga to see if they share the same story. And what was supposed to be just a simple comparison turned to an addiction, as I got hooked with the story that I swiftly breezed past half of it in just two days. In fact, I’m almost at the latest chapter! But despite my love for the manga and its social and philosophical themes that mostly question sexuality and normalcy, I have nothing but absolute contempt for the protagonist.
I swear to God, aside from doing stupid, juvenile, yet horribly perverted and life-wrecking stuff that even I, a long-time manga enthusiast, got queasy with, he deeply wounds the heart of Saeki, a total Yamato Nadeshiko that could go along with the likes of Aya Toujo and Kozaki Onodera, and even corrupts her to a certain extent, all for a freak like Nakamura.
I don’t know how in the world did a low, perverted, and spineless being like him got with Saeki – beautiful, intelligent, responsible, hardworking, charming, sweet, and nice – the complete package I have been searching for my entire life. Then when he finally gets a chance with the one he wants, blows it all off just to do indecent acts with the crazy bitch Nakamura, all after she made his life almost like an impossible hell. And to make matters worse, when Saeki went after him even if she has already found out what he has done (including her gym clothes) as well as who he truly is, after she went as far as take the same damn road to depravity, he still chooses Nakamura and the gut-churning things they do. Seriously, is that what you do to someone who tells you that both of you are in a precious relationship? To someone who truly loves you, cares for you, cherishes and sees something something special in you even if you are worth nothing? Ugh. And I thought Junpei Manaka is the worst. Damn it, stupid manga protagonists, only made worse by the fact that there are real people like them.
Then again, I couldn’t help but think that maybe it’s just how the way it is. After all, he’s a pervert, and so is Nakamura, therefore they go perfectly well together…down the road of depravity and destruction. Aside from that, I couldn’t help but realize that even though I totally understand Kasuga because I am somewhat different compared to the regular people in the society, I am sickened by the unspeakable horrors he and Nakamura did so shamelessly without even thinking of the consequences towards him and the people around him and by how much he damaged Saeki’s heart and soul. I also realized that even though there is a need for us to admit that deep inside us lies great desires to do wrong things of varying gravity and be accepted and understood despite such truth, we should never embrace, cultivate, frolic, and linger on such things. After all, transcendence is not achieved by turning to our fallen nature, but rising above it.
If I were a pervert like Kasuga, I never would need someone like Nakamura who would condone my, for all I need is someone like Saeki, who will accept, understand, and will change me for the better. I would tell Saeki the truth, rise above my urges, become a decent man for myself and her, and live happily ever after. I’d probably be called a worm by the likes of Nakamura, but I don’t care, because I know I’m not, but people liker her are, for they do nothing but squirm in the dirt, helping the flowers of evil bloom – a very ugly flower.
Okay, enough introspection, just read the manga and watch the anime, even though I have horribly spoiled you guys. Then again, everything in this post is just a tip of the iceberg…
I put the I in the UNIVERSE. I hope I can put U too. 