Month: February 2013

Some Women

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The truth – it’s something we think we always wish to hear but always wish we never did once we actually do. You cannot choose when you want to hear it. Heck, you cannot even choose if you want or refuse to hear it in the first place, because it is a certainty that you will. It is not a question of if, but of how, when, where, what is it about, and who it pertains to. I know all of this, for I heard the truth. When, where, from whom I heard it matters not, because what does is what it is about – SOME women.

Some women who are seemingly deeply rooted to their morals are easily uprooted once the alcohol has been poured. Some women have sex with other men even though they already have a man and think it’s okay. Some women would insistently call you up because you’ve done something to them but never even send a single text for your effort. And I’m not sure how many those some are, so I worry about my chances of ever finding a pure sweet girl that isn’t superficial, keeps their virtues when temptation comes along, and doesn’t only want sex.

There are many fishes in the sea. But I was on the wrong part of it. Rather, the truth is that the right part of the sea where I’d find that pristine and virtuous fish does not exist, I only thought it does because I spent all my life wading in the shallow waters where I thought I have found my fish, but the tides carried me to the deeper parts – the sea of lust, where I sink and drown with the weight of the truth and reality telling me that my own truth and reality might be a lie. The mere thought and temptation of beautiful and voluptuous mermaids, drunk with their waters, giving in to my primal pleas of fleshly desire as they give in to theirs, finally giving me a taste of what I have always thirsted for – it’s just too damn inviting. I greatly considered it, maybe not that night, but maybe on other nights…that’s right, I’d do just that. Forget finding my fish, forget finding “the one”. Forget heaven, and remember all the pains as I tried to reach it. But I won’t let me.

Truthfully, I wanted to sink. But there’s something inside of me that wanted to rise and reach heaven despite all the pains in the past whenever I do and possibly in the future if I would. I sank further, lust pulling me down faster and faster, I reached out my hand towards the night sky with the stars and the moon as the only light. I was already below the surface, but my arm was still outstretched, hoping in vain that someone, something would save me from me…and someone, something did – my hope was not in vain. Love, the shining image of the goddess, pristine and virtuous in all her ways, everything I ever wanted, was calling me, telling me to swim up as she reached out her hand to grab mine, so I did. As our hands finally clasped while she pulled me up from the sea of lust, as I found myself on the shore, she told me that there are two truths – the truth of the sea of lust that I almost drowned and washed away my virtues with, and her truth.

The truth of her existence, of the goddess, of love – an elusive truth that can never be found in the sea no matter how far or deep you may get, for she is not a fish nor a mermaid. She is the final and highest angel, the goddess, the woman of my dreams, the ONE. Her truth, should I choose to seek it, is one of a kind and hard to find, much so that there may be a chance that I would not find her in this lifetime. But if I do, it will be so worth it that the truth of the sea of lust would become what was once seemingly beautiful and mysterious waters a cesspool of carnal filth, for I finally found the ONE – sweet, pure, kind, wise, virtuous, joyous, spontaneous, and beautiful, outshining all the treacherously false glitter of that sea and all its inhabitants.

A slim chance of heaven or a vast open sea…I have made my choice. I chose the one which would not make my heart wander and wonder what could be and what could have been. Her truth is a question of who (hopefully it’s the one I like right now), when, how, and if, all of which will be answered. For her truth, just like all truths, are meant to be found and uncovered. And when I do, I will be filled with love and happiness, and so she will be.

This entry was posted in Cupid's Corner, Girl Talk, Lost In Thought, Stories Of My Life, The Temple of Eros and tagged , , , , .

Cos-Playdate/Cosplay-Date

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Sometimes we dream of things that we wish would happen even though we think and know that they never will. But we’re merely humans, and we know that what we think and know isn’t always what happens, because sometimes fate is kind…

It all began when I met with Master Gibs in Megamall to pay him up so that he would make me a Dominator (it’s a gun in the anime Psycho Pass, refer to pictures below for image) for my Psycho-Pass cosplay (click here and you’d know what I’m talking about), that’s when I met her as well…Lin Ling. She’s cute, fair-skinned, chinita, and half-Chinese, thus explaining the previous adjectives (James, what the heck happened to the “No Chinese Rule”?). I’d be lying if I said that I was attracted to her at first because of her personality because I barely know her and have only met her once or twice and never really talked to her, so I’m going to admit that I fancied her because she’s cute, fair-skinned, and chinita. Sure, we did talk a little, and I told her about Amore A Venezia, the post-Valentine event that I’ll be attending and will be doing my Psycho-Pass cosplay ALONE even though it’s a post-Valentine event all because I like the venue – Venice Piazza at McKinley Hill, Bonifacio Global City, Taguig, which is kind of a classy place, good for taking pictures. Anyway, I told her about the event and kind of half-invited her, which I thought was awkward because it’s kind of the first time we talked, but ended up okay because we chatted on Facebook later about the said event, meaning she didn’t mind my kind of half-invitation and was interested in going as well, but I didn’t get my hopes up because there’s no chance that she would want to come with me. I guess I thought wrong, thankfully…

I went back to Megamall last Friday to pay Master Gibs half of his due so that I could get my Dominator (as well as see Lin Ling), except there was one problem – of all the times my cash card could choose not to work, it had to choose that time when I had to pay for something. And just when I was about to pawn Gibs my PRC license so that I could take home the Dominator, which is something that no self-respecting professional being would ever do, Lin Ling hits two birds with one stone – pays for the half of my Dominator, and tells me to pay her back by paying for her ticket in Amore. She is quite an angel, saving me from not getting my Dominator and going alone on an event specifically for couples. Quite an angel, but not one of the angels…yet. Damn it, this whole angel thing might jinx and mess it up again. Anyway, after the business deal and me implicitly getting a date, we went to Toy Kingdom and window-shopped with Lin Ling for a ball which she will use on her other cosplay, and her spontaneity just made me have a ball *ba-dum-tss*, too much of a ball actually, so I got twenty minutes late for work, not to mention that I have something that looks like a gun at work WHILE GUN BAN IS IN EFFECT. Guess I should’ve just ditched work that day and just went along with Gillian who called me up and invited me to come with them, but I guess I’d rather not, not after choosing work over spending more time with Lin Ling, and most definitely not after Jacky telling me something about me not getting a date on Valentines Day and getting four dates if I come with them. Sorry Jacky, you’re wrong, because I got a date that fate set up. Well, it’s not a date-date, just a date for me, which she probably doesn’t even consider a date, but it’s with a girl that I like, which is more than fine with me.

Finally – the big night. Suit, check. Hair, check. Two cans of wax that I didn’t use, check. Money, check. Phone, check. Camera, check. Ticket, check. Money, check. Dominator, check. Last, but definitely the greatest – Lin Ling, check. Fetching her from work, wearing a suit, hailing a taxi, and going to a classy place sure felt quite familiar – prom. It was my second prom, a chance to redeem myself from the unremarkable first by finally having someone I actually I like as a date, who was making minor repairs on her costume since morning and even up until the taxi made its way to Venice Piazza.

When we got there, we didn’t know what to do first. I asked her, but she threw the question back at me, which was kind of a pressure because if the girl throws the question back it means you need to prove your worth as a man and decide for the both of you and not an indecisive idiot who can only depend on a girl, so I decided that we eat first. Then I was the one again who had to decide where to eat, so I just chose TokyoCafe because:

  1. I didn’t know the other restaurants in the area.
  2. We’re cosplaying and it feels pretty damn right to eat Japanese food while doing so.

At first there was this not-so-awkward silence that needed breaking if I am to progress, which I did break, and I didn’t know how I did it or how it happened, all I did was that I just kept asking questions until I hit a wellspring of words which lead to a flowing river of conversations complete with branching topics from work to family to anime and manga to gaming and ultimately to being a regular cosplayer and not being an elitist English-speaking snob, just like the people sitting on our right. Sure, the katsudon I ordered was as tough to chew as rubber sheets, but that was not the main course, but Lin Ling (no malicious joke intended), for she’s so…special yet normal at the same time, someone who I think can definitely relate to me. Cute, witty, spontaneous, and colorful – damn it I’m infatuated again.

We went back to the event after we ate, but after the singer finished Just Be Friends by Megurine Luka (a bad omen?) we suddenly decided to go outside, sit near the bushes, and talk, which reminded me of that time when I talked to the Sixth Angel on my first date, except this time was infinitesimally better. Time was faster and slower at the same time, and nothing around really mattered – just her beauty and her voice under the stars, it’s almost as if she had the power to isolate us from the universe’s motion. It was a high more natural than weed, a real dream, but the dream wasn’t over yet.

After that we went to meet up with the international cosplayer guests, which really felt stiflingly awkward because we haven’t heard about them before so we didn’t know where to begin talking and so we just asked for their cos-cards (a calling cards for cosplayers, includes a picture of them in cosplay), and I asked for Lin Ling’s as well, which was easily the cos-card I’d choose out of the cos-cards I received. Then we went for some free marshmallows which we dipped in chocolate fondue, and I joked about how this is like the event’s counterpart of fishballs dipped in sauce. And finally, we decided to take advantage of the pretty classy place so we took a few (I’m not sure if 25+ is still considered few) good practice shots with the digicam I brought. A digicam can only go so far, but if someone like Lin Ling is the one holding it, it can do quite a lot. After all, she’s got a lot of experience being a model by many photographers. She knows where and how to take a shot, what settings should be used, and what poses I should make even more than I do despite the fact that I know my character better, even going as far as adjusting my poses manually, which felt heavenly, as if I’m a piece of clay being molded by heavenly hands. Of course, I took some shots of her as she teaches me how, which weren’t as good as hers and couldn’t capture her true beauty very well, but I guess it’s a start.

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We exited the event at ten, and we took a taxi from there to Boni, where I escorted her as she bought Royal and three sticks of Chupa Chups. She told me it’s her breakfast, and she likes sweets for breakfast, which was peculiar but pretty cool in my book. And after that was the farewell on the jeep terminal, where she bowed, thanked me, said goodbye, and smiled with her cute pink lips and shining crescent eyes…all while a stupid tricycle was playing Out Of The Blue by Michael Learns to Rock. Oh the cheesiness, I loved it, how it added some sort of movie-ish dramatic soundtrack effect, even coinciding with my path as I walked towards the overpass to cross and head south. What a night. What a girl. What a cheesy song.

The band Social Distortion only wished the good times would last a little longer, and I do so as well. It’s do so, not did so, because until now I still feel the same way. But no matter, what’s important is that I had more than a blast being on a cos-playdate/cosplay-date with Lin Ling, and I wanted to more than blast the photographers who were coming at her with their DSLRs even though Lin Ling knows them and they just wanted to take a good picture of a cute girl, but I guess whatever I felt was natural for any hot-blooded male. Anyway, I don’t want to linger on that, I can’t anyway, because I’m still lingering on the time I spent with her.

I thought that only in my wildest dreams would I get to date a girl like Lin Ling. But there are times when reality is wilder than our wildest dreams. Maybe it all happened because deep down I believed that it would. Or maybe fate thought that it’s finally time. Well, one thing is for sure, I’m happy thanks to Lin Ling, and I like her. I guess that’s two things.

As for Lin Ling, I don’t know if I will or should be making moves. And if yes, I don’t know when. I guess it will come in due time. Well, I’m not sure if her telling me that there’s gonna be a photoshoot on Friday morning next week and asking me to be there is a sign to get started. Or maybe I should take things slowly. Oh no, I’m smitten again…

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Anyway, on the cosplay part:

Shinya Kogami of Psycho Pass:

  • Expectation:

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  • Reality:

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close_enough

Click here for more pictures.

This entry was posted in Cupid's Corner, Girl Talk, Otaku Stuff, Stories Of My Life and tagged , , , , , , , , , .

Faith And Hope In Love (A Valentines Day Special)

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I woke up today thirsty and dry. But that thirst and dryness is not only a mere physical feeling, it’s a feeling in my heart. I woke up again on Valentines Day single, just like the past other twenty-one Valentines Days before. Twenty-two years without a girlfriend, twenty-two years with nothing but unrequited love…that reality has turned my outlook into this…

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In this life I’ve already fallen for six girls ever since I had my first love, and each time I fell I really did fall and lost them. Because of that, my faith and hope in love, as well with my future one true love, got damaged with every defeat and breaking and shattering of my heart, her image in my head disfigured to almost beyond recognition. Almost.

If you’ve known nothing but that something all your life, it’s easy to think that there’s nothing but that something in the future. In my case, that something is disappointment in love that is almost leaning to disbelief towards it, much so that it already got me thinking that I’m damned to be single in my entire lifetime. And even though there are lessons in disappointment, it is still a serious blow to one’s confidence. A bad chain of events leading to loss of confidence, disappointment and disbelief towards love, and the thought of me being alone until I die…love is truly unfair. It asks you to believe in it, shatters your faith and hope in it, and denies you from it once your faith and hope in it is shattered.

But what if I had so much and so strong of both faith and hope in love that it cannot shatter itself? Why would love want to shatter my faith in it? Wait, what if all this is just love’s test? If that’s the case, then I need to ace it with flying colors, and maybe only then can I reach heaven and claim my angel. After all, love is magic – the more I believe in it, the more it will become powerful. But what if love still shatters my faith and hope despite believing in it?

Love may be something almost all of us want to have, but the fact is that not everybody receives it. Still, despite that, we owe many things to love that serves as its proof, so many in fact that if you want to believe in it all you need to do is look around. If not for love, our parents would not have met and given us birth. If not for love, people would not choose to form families and bear children, and without families and children we wouldn’t have societies, communities, nations – THE ENTIRE WORLD! You can say it’s just hormones, genetics, and natural selection that urge us to find a pair and reproduce, but why are there people who love despite the pain and disadvantage it may cause them? Surely, that is love in action, not hormones, genetics, natural selection, or whatever scientific concept, for it defies logic.

Besides, being single isn’t exactly contradictory to having faith and hope in love. Just look at Saint Valentine. He was a priest, so he’s obviously single (duh?!), and yet he risked his life and got executed because he performed weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry. To die for love, not for someone you love, but for the idea of it – surely it must’ve taken so much faith and hope in love to do so. And if he, who is fated to be single until his death, believed in love, then surely I, a twenty-year old bachelor who lives a pretty decent life, could do so as well. Even if I am fated to have no lover all my life, I will still believe in love despite all the disappointment and shattering in my faith and hope in it. And not just faith and hope in the love of other people, but in the love I am destined to love which will love me back.

She will come, God will give her to me, because I have love as well as faith and hope in it. And once she does, she will shatter all my disbelief in love. I will love and thank her for loving me and proving me wrong, and she will love and thank me for loving and believing her.

Happy Valentines Day everyone. May we all love, be loved, and believe in love.

This entry was posted in Cupid's Corner, Girl Talk, Lost In Thought and tagged , , .

Inspiration, Effort and Determination, Dreams

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My dream is to write a novel that will be published and read by many people because I want to share my life and thoughts with them. Oh what I wouldn’t give for it to come true…I just wish I could give more time and effort for it to do so. Well, actually I can, and I’ve already started on it, it’s just that I’m too uninspired to do so. Then came along this manga (Japanese comics) called Bakuman.

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Bakuman is about Moritaka Mashiro, a fourteen year-old kid who dreams of being a manga-ka (manga artist). Together with his friend Takagi Akito who makes the stories and his love interest and major inspiration Azuki Miho, who wants to be a voice actress in anime and agrees to marry him once their dreams come true, he draws manga in hopes that it’d get serialized, thus fulfilling his dream and marrying Miho. It’s inspiring, right? Of course it is! It’s so full of that hopeful dreaming of youth and hopeless romanticism, but also has elements of reality about how the manga business works, which is just like how any creative arts or show business works where only a fortunate few reach the top, but I don’t give a damn about that because I’m the far-fetched yet inspirational aspect of the manga which is about making your dreams come true is inspiring me with my own dream of finishing the novel I have started on. Question is…how long will this inspiration last?

I’ve been inspired many instances before I started reading Bakuman, and each time I did I would add a bit to the novel I’m writing, BUT THAT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH! A good writer receives inspiration and writes, but a great writer, aside from receiving inspiration, makes his own and writes. In fact, I think the problem with me isn’t inspiration, but effort and determination. I get too easily distracted with things, especially with playing video games, most especially DoTA 2 and Dragon. Damn it, I’m twenty-two, I need to quit playing too much games at home and just focus on finishing my novel and have it published. After all, those victories wouldn’t mean anything after ten years from now, but my dream would.

“Has it been fulfilled? Am I closer, halfway, a long way to go towards fulfillment, or totally unfulfilled at all? How do I feel about it being fulfilled…or otherwise?” – these are questions I will be asking myself in the future. For now, the only one I only have an answer for what I would feel about my dreams not being fulfilled, and it’s definitely regret and disappoinment in myself for not doing my best to fulfill it. And I don’t want that, for to have a dream that never came and never will come true is to be in a nightmare. I need to wake up, NOW, and make that dream a reality little by little, to make it more tangible one word, paragraph, page, and chapter at a time. Every minute and hour I spend on it counts, just like how Akito and Mashiro works on their manga even during lunch breaks in school. Man, I have a feeling Bakuman will be one of my major inspirations, just like Welcome to the NHK and Stainless Longganisa.

Inspiration is good and all, but it’s just fuel. You need the engine of determination and effort to get to your dreams. And if your inspiration is like this…

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then you’re definitely gonna get a lot of mileage.

P.S.

If you are good enough to draw manga, feel free to contact me. I want to make one too, or at least have my novel-in-the-making to become one.

bakuman9

This entry was posted in Lost In Thought, Otaku Stuff, Stories Of My Life and tagged , , , , , , , .

Fool Me Once, Shame On You. Fool Me Twice, Shame On Me. Fool Me Thrice, I Regret Trusting You.

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“Only gonna play the fool one time…”

-NeYo, Go On Girl

Everyone, even the smartest person alive, has been tricked at least once in their lifetime. Me? Since I’m nowhere near being the smartest person alive, I’ve had more than my unfair share of instances and people taking advantages of my naivety. However, deficient in self-esteem I may be, I don’t think I’m a basket case of being the fool either. Also, might I add, that I am a brimming fountain of trust. Wait, what do you mean by being trusting and being gullible as almost one and the same thing? Well, I guess that is true in certain cases, especially mine. Let me tell you guys a story…

It all began on a Thursday afternoon, when suddenly I received a call from someone who we’ll codename “Juno”, who happens to be one of my “friends”, asking me if I could meet her up on SM Megamall on Saturday. She’s not exactly a part of any of the circles whom I consider as close friends, but I could definitely say that we did spent quite a good amount of time together, so I guess why not. Besides, I had plans to meet up someone there in the first place, might as well allot a little bit of my time for a friend. Come Saturday, after meeting up with the people I had businesses with, I received a text from Fernan, an invitation to play DoTA, an invitation I simply cannot refuse…BUT I HAD TO! I wanted to prove to myself and Juno that I honor my words and promises, so I declined what is to me almost like a divine sacrament…for nothing.

I went to Tektite, just as she instructed, and when I got there I asked her where to, and that’s when I knew that I’ve already been had – Octagon building 15th floor, the same place where one of my former college classmates were to bring me and Zacc together to introduce us to…a multi-level marketing, or networking, or network marketing, or the oh-so-infamous “pyramidding” scam, but for this post we’ll use MLM for brevity purposes. Yes, scam, I’m not afraid to say that, because that’s all that it truly is. I wouldn’t elaborate on how it truly is a scam because my post’s focus is on how I was tricked and my time wasted by Juno, so I’ll just give you this link instead. Anyway, after her text, I already figured out everything – that she got into an MLM scam and needed someone who she could recruit in order for her to gain money as well as a subordinate who could help her recruit as well as sell products which in turn would also help her gain money as well (this is basically an oversimplified explanation of how an MLM scam works).

But despite the fact that the jig is up, I still went, not for any other reasons whatsoever, but to prove to her that I am a man of my word even though I was no longer obliged to, being deceived and all. Besides, I already declined DoTA, there’s nothing left for me, so I might as well see her. But in the end, I regretted that too, because my four hours was wasted on listening to them sales-talk a bit about how effective and greatly sought after their products are and a whole lot more about how you can gain financial freedom and control of your time if you try out their “business” and gain leverage by having your own team – basically a less blatant yet still obvious way of telling us that we need to recruit our own “team members” in order to make the “business” get to the level they preach about. And honestly, if you haven’t really heard of scams like this before, you might get into thinking that it really does work, but you will realize that this pyramid built its foundation on sand if you ask these questions:

  • What if I or my recruits couldn’t sell the products?
  • What if I or my recruits couldn’t recruit anyone?
  • What if my recruits quit altogether?

Of course, there’s gonna be “training” to solve those rather pessimistic-sounding conundrums, which also costs money by the way, but no amount of training could help you out with the exorbitant mark-up you need to make in order to make a profit from selling the products that would only appeal to the 1% of the population, as well as the fact that there are only limited number of prospects you can recruit. Anyway, back to my story (damn it, I get sidetracked too easily)…

Up the elevator I went and I stayed in the bleached-white hallway full of Nu Skin ads plastered on the walls as I waited for Kat, and as I looked around I saw that most of the people were mostly in groups, with a pair as a seemingly mandated minimum, but no matter how many they were in a group there’s always at least one who is talking, asking questions like “where do you work? how’s work? how’s the pay?” – I didn’t even need to hear what they’re saying to know what they are. I know, I’ve been there before. Twice. Fool…yes, no other word to describe me I guess, having been brought to two of these scam sessions – one in USANA when I was a snotty and stupid fresh grad desperate for income and the other in UNO all because my former classmate Mae (real name, I hate her this much) told me that she wanted to see me. Well, I may not be enough of a fool to make me join, but I am one enough to exchange this total waste of time for a chance to hang out with my true friends. Heck, I wanted to leave because aside from the fact that I already knew and automatically refuse their offers, Juno wasn’t showing up, telling me to wait ,even though it’s already been an hour. Makes me wait for an hour, tells me to wait, doesn’t even explain her circumstances – some friend. And I don’t know what is up with me still trying to prove to myself and her that I have a “word of honor” instead of just ditching the damn thing altogether.

Finally, after an hour wasted, Juno showed up and tries to do small talk even though we recently had small talk a week ago, talking about dreams and God and stuff, a talk so seemingly genuine, innocent, and pure that I didn’t see it as a foot on the door that would lead to this. I did not like it one bit, so at the very least I tried to do at least one jab against all of this by telling her I’ve been there and done that already by two of our classmates, so instead of leading me to that session hall where they’re going to feed me lies, I invited her instead for some Starbucks, which she declined with an obvious cross expression on her face, knowing that the duck she lured lays no golden eggs.

Throughout the presentation, I listened to a little bit of science (which is dubious as it didn’t come from a medical doctor or a scientist), a lot more about their business scheme and how it’d lead to financial freedom and control of your time, which could lead to good family bonding and the fulfillment of dreams, and testimonials of people who attained this through swindling others. Damn, how dare they use beautiful things like dreams and family for their filthy money-making scheme!? But what is even more unbelievable is that the one who’s recruiting me is Juno.

I wanted to tell Juno that I wanted to leave after the presentation, but before I could even say a single word, her boss, or should I say upline (MLMers will get this) went straight up barging in faster than you can say “SCAM”, cornering me, not giving me an exit at all unless I knocked her off her seat, and it’s not exactly easy to spit out an abrupt farewell when you’re in front of someone you don’t even know, more so if that person was presented to you as someone from a higher stature, so I had no choice but to put up with a little bit more BS. She asked me about my dream, and I told her that all I want is to write a book so that others would know I exist, so that I could share my life and talent and inspire them through it. In response, she told me it’s good that I have a dream and all, then she asked me that wouldn’t it be nice if I got rich through it, just lie how JK Rowling getting rich because of royalties, and in my mind I was thinking “why is it already about money again anyway?”, so I told her that it doesn’t matter because money is secondary or even tertiary to my dream. Trying to break me, she told me how easy it would be to publish a book if I had lots of money for it, so I just agreed with her to cut the discussion short, but there’s no chance in hell that they’ll make me cough up Php13,500  for a starter kit that I need to use before I could buy probably even more expensive products that would make me a member of their moneymaking cult, not that I have Php13,500 to begin with anyway.

After that failed brainwashing attempt using my own dreams, Juno asked me to list down possible contacts of people that I want to be my “team members” in case I join them, but I won’t, so she told me that she’d be using them instead, and as much as I didn’t want to, I had to, but I gave her numbers of people who she has no idea of, so I doubt they’d be of help. With that out of the way, I thought I could leave…apparently not, as she had one last cry, introducing me to her fellow recruits, but they’re nowhere near as convincing than their most convincing who can’t even make me buy a single tablet of their goods or make me consider their deal. I have the eternal mangekyo sharingan bitches, I am immune.

In the end, all I got for trusting her is this long post that people won’t even read the entire way through, a motivation to run a google search on the truths of MLM, and a lesson that even the ones who you’d never suspect of tricking you will do so if they’ve been lied to and even more so if they’re desperately holding on to the lies. But despite all these gains, they will never compensate for not being able to play with my bros. Well, at least my losses aren’t as great as Juno’s – an opportunity to recruit me, as well as my trust.

Oh Juno, you’re gonna have to quit that BS if you want my trust back…

This entry was posted in Girl Talk, Stories Of My Life and tagged , , , , , , , , .

Dream Blog: Inoue

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It’s been quite some time since I dreamed something vivid enough for me to remember. So last night, I finally did…

I was in some mall’s food court, sitting with three girls, but I was only talking to one of them who I never got the name, so I’ll just call her “Inoue” because she’s a fair-skinned chinita that got a long bright near-orange blonde wavy hair that reaches up to her back and a rather sizable chest under a white shirt.

I don’t know what we were talking about in particular, but it’s definitely has something to do with dating or flirting. Then she walks off to go to the washroom, so I ask Aiza, one of my coworkers who was with Inoue at that time (Why was she with Inoue anyway? Crazy brain..), for her digits, and she writes it on a piece of tissue. Then finally Inoue returns, telling us to go somewhere, and that’s when I woke up. Damn it, I’m not sure if I just can’t remember the things she told me or the dream itself got no sound.

Oh Inoue…I wonder if that somewhere you want to go to is reality…

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A Link To The Past

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“Ang hindi marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan, hindi makakarating sa kanyang patutunguhan…” that is a Filipino proverb saying that those who do not look back to where they have been will never reach their destination. It speaks of never forgetting your humble roots as well as the people who helped you to get wherever you are now, because those who do not will become lost with their own delusions. However, the Bible tells us to not to dwell in the past. To look back on one’s past but not dwell in it, sounds deep…anyway, I don’t want to go spiritual or introspective on you guys, what I just want to do is share my old blog sites – Multiply and Tumblr.

Multiply is my first ever blog site. It’s where I first experienced that simple yet profound joy of turning thoughts, emotions, events, and ideas into words. And since things are enthralling when they’re new, I wrote as often as I could about whatever I could write about in that site, even things that are supposed to be private – I showed my writings to many, as though I am a father who cannot contain his pride for his child, and my heart couldn’t help but swell because of the honest accolades I received.

But a true artist would never be content of just becoming a big fish in a small pond – so I looked not for a lake, a river, nor a sea, but an ocean! I swam to Tumblr where the waters are bluer, and where there are more fishes, both those who I know all too well and those who I will never had an idea existed, who shall appreciate my work, as well as fishes whose works I appreciate. My creations in that site made waves, waves that either my friends surfed with great glee or ravaged the ones that I went against and went against me. But nonetheless, my stay in Tumblr yielded more creations than the one with Multiply, for it was my atelier when I was a senior college student, an unemployed hikkikomori, a call center agent, a hikkikomori once again, a nurse trainee, a hikkikomori for the third time, and finally as an editorial agent. With Tumblr being a witness to the many changes in my life, hopefully I left it with more beauties than beasts.

As I visited my old sites to link them here, I couldn’t help but backread…and inevitably reminisce. All those times, ideas, and stories from the past, coming back to me…it’s actually quite poignant. Happiness, sorrow, victory, defeat, hope, disappointment, success, love, heartbreak, acceptance, denial, truth, lies, confusion, understanding – OH THE FEELINGS! Then again, I personally experienced and wrote all of it personally, so I’ll obviously be moved by it, but who cares? After all, even though I write in a blog site to be read, we writers primarily write for ourselves. It’s pretty self-indulgent, but it’s the truth. We write not for others to be pleased, but to share and please ourselves in hopes that others would be pleased with it as well.

And so my dear readers, I present you the links of my Multiply and Tumblr in case you may want to do a little bit of backreading. Now that the past is here, it’s time to leave it, look back one more time, and write my way towards the future.

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